PUPO!

I'm writing from my bed, reclined (less than 45 degrees), 1 hour into my 36 hours bed rest.  Of course, I am using a laptop stand, which I got specifically for this purpose.  I can't believe 6 months of delays has gotten me here, finally!

FET recap: I slept in a bit since I took the whole day off.  I got a call from embryology whilst I was in the shower confirming our transfer of 1 embryo and that we were all good to go (and that I was coming in).  We cut it a bit close on time and got there about 5 minutes late.  Labs first and the woman (new to me) there that day was the BEST ever, barely felt the needle prick, which is not typical.  Then, upstairs to the surgery center, whereupon acupuncture (w/ Cyndy) was next.  The needles stung a bit in some parts (especially the ears) going in, but once they were all in, it was fine.  Kinda funny/weird having acupuncture in such a clinical room.  Next, the nurse came in to take vitals and I only had to drink a bit more water to fill my bladder (nothing even close to the 32 oz of water they asked me to bring) + take the Valium, which had no effect on me til I was done and getting up.  The ultrasound lady (sorry for the non-technical names) checked my bladder and it was just right.

Just on the verge of discomfort for me.  Dr. G came in and was really positive about our 1 blast thawing perfectly (3BA, which I'm trying not the obsess about, since it wasn't our best one, but was frozen individually), said it was like it was never frozen.  Then it was like a well-oiled machine -- ultrasound lady pushing on my stomach, nurse helping with something or another, embryologist John doing his thing, Dr. G getting in there... did 1 "test run."  Then in it went, a little white air bubble/speck on the screen.  And that was it!  15 min of still time.  Then I had the choice to use the bedpan, wait it out or get up to use the bathroom.  I tried the bedpan, super weird, but I was gonna explode otherwise.  Then I could chill for the post-transfer acupuncture.  After that, I got up to use the bathroom and I could feel the influence of the Valium.  Next stop: Five Guys for lunch (lying down in the car) -- I highly recommend it (a minute away from CCRM).  As a former west coaster, I desperately miss In-n-Out, DH says he thinks Five Guys is better.  I cannot blaspheme In-n-Out.  Eating a burger brimming with stuff is kind of a challenge in a prone position tho.

9 days from now is Sunday where I'll have my blood test.  They said I could do it on Monday too at my local CCRM office, but that would be a work day and I can just imagine getting news in the middle of class with 24 third-graders running rampant.  Not optimal.  So we are gonna make a day of it and do the whole IKEA thing (not new to me, but new to Denver) while we're down south.  Oh, and Dr. G counseled against doing a HPT, which I wasn't planning on doing anyway. 

I know the black bar is silly, but I'm being paranoid.

I've got Grey's Anatomy eps I plan to catch up on Hulu, books, mags, a bell (to ring for my manservant AKA DH), water, snacks, the paper, DVDs, etc etc.  I'm a doer, so this gonna be a challenge.

Bring it!

On Wednesday, after not hearing from CCRM by 4 pm on when my transfer tomorrow would be, I called them.  They still didn't have the schedule yet, but by 5 pm, they said I should be there by 11:15 am (with acupuncture before and after).  Then, this morning as I was rolling into work, I get a call telling me that the time is now switched to 8:15 am.  F**K!  My DS, a kindergartner, doesn't start school til 8 am and I have no family in town (at the moment, sis is traveling in S. Africa & MiL is not capable).  Plus, I was going to attend a special surprise family event in his classroom.  DH urged me to push back, so I called them back and pleaded my case.  Nurse Carolyn called me back right away and let me push it back to 9:15 am.  At least we can get DS to school, but will miss his kinder event.  : (  Don't get me wrong, this FET is a huge priority, but STILL... cut me some slack, CCRM.  I'm always at their beck and call with scheduling.  Now, my transfer is at 11:15 am (but still gotta arrive early for the bloodwork and acupuncture).

So to address the photo: in my pre-blogging days as a lurker, I had read about pineapple core and grape juice (+ walnuts or just nuts in general + yams) as being beneficial to implantation (nothing highly scientific, mostly on blogs and forums).  I've also read how too much is not good either.  At any rate, old wive's tale or not, what the hell?  Don't worry, I won't consume ALL that is on the counter... just thought I'd maximize the dramatic effect.  I'm thinking 1 cup of juice per day and 1 cup of pineapple per day (I might blitz the core into a smoothie).

Of course, DS knows NOTHING about our IF tribulations and IVF.  He is just doing the thumbs up because of Daddy.  DS used to break my heart by requesting a baby and asking about having a younger sibling.  He'd say he wanted a baby sister (so he didn't have to share his toys).  We'd always say, "We're working on it."  Then he'd say, "How?"  Um...  can't even remember how I answered that, but that I didn't.  : )  It also breaks my heart that he doesn't ask anymore.  Sigh.  I know that I'm fortunate to have one child and as someone going through secondary infertility, I don't expect great amounts of sympathy.  I do, however, know what it feels like to be disappointed month after month, procedure after procedure, year after year.  I also know what it feels like to have a vision of your future not coming to fruition and to feel like your life is in limbo.

Anyhoo... before I go to bed tonight, I plan to clear my nightstand for maximum space and lay out my diversions.  Mags, books, DVDs, laptop, grading... might also prep that pineapple.  Can't believe the big day is finally nearing.  So surreal.  Catch you all on the PUPO side!

Drugs Galore & Last Hurdle...

I can't get over the vast pharmacopia that is coursing through my body right now... it's tough to keep track of and I've started using one of those Sun-Sat pill boxes that I associate with "old people."  What's weird, too, is how I'm experiencing little to no side effects.  I'm off of the Lupron (yay, no more injections!) and am now taking:

• estrace - 2x/day
• Vivelle dots - 4x every other day
• endometrin - 3x/day (progesterone inserts)  So glad I don't have to do PIO, which just sounds frightening
• medrol - 1/night, steroid to avoid rejection of embryo - tastes disgusting!  Thanks for the tip, TurtleMama (take w/ plenty of liquid and do not let it linger on the tongue due to bitter taste)!
• tetracycline - 4x/day, take on empty stomach
• baby aspirin
• prenatal vitamin
• Colace - TMI, sorry -- stool softener, these drugs are stopping me up!!

My biggest challenge is timing the tetracycline 4x/day on an empty stomach (1 hour bef a meal and 2-3 hours after meals).  I eat ALL the time...  so unfortunately, some of those doses are not really on am empty stomach.  Hope that is not an issue, have not discussed w/ the nurse or anything.

Last Hurdle: Had my progesterone level checked today and according to my nurse's voicemail, "looks fantastic!"  So no # specificity, but I'll take it!

Just gotta get those report cards all done and sub plans for Friday written up and lay out all my bedrest diversions and I'm good to go.  Nervous, but cautiously optimistic.

Blogging Question

Since I'm new to this, I'm trying to figure it all out... I notice that my friend who has a Wordpress blog has a function where he can reply to comments and it's indented (set-back) so it looks different from the other comments.  As a commenter, you can also be notified of other comments or replies.  On Blogger, I don't see this functionality -- am I missing something?  I feel like if I reply to comments, no one ever knows or sees it unless they check back on the comments.

Close, but YES cigar?

So I had my doppler u/s appointment and estradiol blood draw this morning.  I got a call back from the nurse as I was trying to park my car in the Costco lot on a VERY crowded/busy shopping day and as my DS started dry-heaving in the back seat, requesting a baggie to puke in.  Why don't the nurses ever call me when I'm calm and by myself?  I'm a teacher and sometimes the nurse calls while I'm in the midst of 24 third-graders and I have to speak in code, "Well, my monthly visitor arrived today.  Okay, so I should start taking those miniature pills when?"  Well, I got the car parked and DS ended up not puking (phew!) and I was able to grab a pen/paper to take some notes on the next steps.

Oh, back to the u/s -- triple pattern, good blood flow, 10.2 mm -- all good (thickness is supposed to be > than 8 mm).  But the estradiol level was 256 and they want 300.  : (  The nurse (Carolyn -- new) said that we can kick it up with estrace twice daily, which I've used before to beef up my lining during IUIs, but have never ingested it orally.  Which I welcome, because bright blue discharge is kinda disturbing.  As I recall from one woman's blog, "It's like I f**ked a smurf!"  Apparently they are not too worried as the wizard (Dr. G) felt that 256 was close to 300.  They're not even going to check that again.  Only progesterone on Tuesday.

So new upcoming drugs: progesterone inserts (endometrin) 3x/daily starting on Sunday.  Tetracycline (which I cannot stand due to the need to avoid dairy) also.  Medrol comes up somewhere too.  Good thing I'm a Type A organized person (how do non-Type A people manage all the details???). 

We find out on Wednesday when our transfer appointment will be on Friday.  Can't believe the day is actually nearing and that it's actually going to happen. 

Weekend plans: work (blah), raking leaves (kinda gratifying), errands, college football and DH's b-day tomorrow.  Hope I can survive the week, always busy right before Thanksgiving at school with report cards and whatnot.  Transfer day on Friday and then we host Thanksgiving -- hrmmm.... bedrest is not so conducive to Thanksgiving prep.  I should still have plenty of prep time -- besides, it'll help the 2ww pass.  The IUI 2ww was bad enough, with the higher stakes of IVF, I don't know how I will be able to stand it.  I know it's less than 2w, but still... how do others do it?  Do I need to stuff my schedule to the brim?

Climbing out...

I've been blogging for only a short two weeks and I am blown away by the online community.  It truly feels like an organic, spontaneous coming together of people with like minds/issues/needs.  One site leads to another, which leads to connections made, blogs followed, being followed, etc.  As a long-time lurker, this is quite exciting to me!

Anyway, the latest w/ H is that he is once again, DH.  We are starting to emerge from the woods... I'm hopeful that we can make it to the 18th and beyond.  I've so appreciated all of your support and it's so awesome to hear from and be connected with women all over the world.  I think that is a key part of what's been missing from my life.  While family and friends both local and out-of-state/country are indispensable, you just can't talk frankly about the details of IF with people who are not immersed in it.  I also don't have a lot of female friends who live in town (I moved away from where I went to college and most all of my friends stayed there), so it's just refreshing to be in touch w/ cool women.

Onto the medical stuff -- I have 3 patches on now... moving into 4 Vivelle dots.  I have had NO symptoms (that I know of, what the hell is the norm anymore?  My body has not been my own in a looong time) and of course, if you have symptoms, that sucks and if you don't, you're wondering, "Is something wrong?"  Next hurdle to cross in 2 days -- doppler u/s and another estradiol level check. 

And while I have revealed little to no identifying information thus far, a parting remark for my readers in the Pac-12 -- GO CARDINAL!

Still in it, but barely...

It's been nearly a week and I am no less riddled with emotions and the marital strife has not dissipated.  It's like 1 step forward, 2 steps back.  I am deeply appreciative of all of your support.  I hope that this FET cycle will not be in vain and that my dreams of another child will come true.  Of course, I hope that this current challenge in my marriage will be surmountable.

As far as the nuts and bolts of my cycle -- a week of Vivelle dots has had no noticeable impact on me thus far (the nurse said it makes many people nauseous).  But I haven't yet gotten to two patches, let alone 4.  Had blood drawn today for estradiol levels and it was at 85 and they want over 50.  The Lupron has been making me very bruised recently, despite the beginning of it being bruise-free.  Is it air?  Is it my technique?  My greatest epiphany though, today, was finding a way to get rid of the adhesive from the Vivelle dots in a VERY easy way (I have read so many posts from women having trouble with that darn adhesive).  I use Goo Gone for household adhesive removal all the time, so I squirted a little into the cap of the bottle.  Then I submerged a Q-tip in the Goo Gone.  Wiped it back and forth on the adhesive residue and voila!  Gone w/o a trace!

Next appointment on Friday -- u/s and another blood draw for estradiol.

Not out of the woods w/ H yet and while he does want another child, our issues are definitely affecting whether or not we go through with transfer on the 18th.  Between now and then, I will do everything I can to get us back on track...