[Preface: BTW, I think my belief that readers dropped off was because my followers sidebar has always been weird and reliable -- it jumps from 3 to in the teens and back and forth. For example, today, everyone is there. That said, I DO completely understand if the pregnancy/BFP focus of this blog now is difficult for people to read or causes anyone to unfollow. I never experienced that personally, because I was always hopeful that I could then follow in those footsteps. Anyway, for those of you reading, here goes...]
I don't know about you, but over the past couple of years, I've been highly irrational with regard to superstition. For example, every wishbone, every stray eyelash that I blew off my hand, etc., I was very serious about and of course, only made one wish. Seems so juvenile, right? But desperate times call for desperate measures.
There's one EXTREMELY superstitious thing that I have done that I'm almost embarrassed to share with you (that I only recently shared with DH), but the reason I'm going to is that it highlights the desperation, sadness and hope that I felt while undergoing IF. In 2005, my DH and I enjoyed a summer trip to NYC (where we both used to live, at separate times in our lives). We stayed at the YMCA (in bunk beds, even) for cheap, so that we could blow our money on extravagant meals. I got there a day before DH and when I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom (actually a private one, but in a common area where there are a row of them), I accidentally dropped my toothbrush in the toilet. I cursed this and later, got a replacement at Duane Reade (a cheap DR one because everything is so expensive in NYC). We believe that our DS was conceived on this trip (possibly at the YMCA, but more likely in a NJ hotel room, where we attended a wedding reception). Ever since then, I have not been willing to part with this toothbrush. It's still part of my travel kit (I know, I'm super embarrassed because it's grotesque to use a toothbrush for that long -- though I only use it sporadically since I don't travel that often) and I have told myself, I won't replace it til we conceive B2. It's like it was supposed to be a good luck charm (that didn't work for 3+ years) or something. At any rate, now that I'm actually 8w2d, when do I chuck that toothbrush? Now, after first trimester, upon giving birth? Weird questions, I know... but now that I started this weird thing, I gotta see it through. Regardless, I really can't let it go any longer either, for sanitary reasons. : )
So there you go... a deep, dark, secret that I haven't told anyone except for DH... Am I psycho?