TMI: ~35w

Had a dr's appointment yesterday -- had to wait an HOUR, and this was in the morning, rather than the usual late afternoon, after work.  Boo. 

Baby boy is quite variable in his movement -- two nights ago, I thought I was done -- that I should stop working on the nursery and that it was over.  I felt nothing ALL DAY and not until midnight did I feel something.  Whereas, some nights, I would feel some movement earlier on.  And the doppler my friend lent me doesn't always find the heartbeat and/or the beat isn't very strong or consistent.  Unlike the dr's doppler which finds the beat on the first try and it's very loud and consistent.  So that doesn't help either.  Really hard not to be paranoid and worried -- I've heard so many horror stories both from people first-hand and over the blogosphere... (though, thankfully, no one is offering them up to me right now, except for my mom a while back).

The latest thing, though, is TMI -- I feel like I STINK down there.  I definitely cannot get away with not showering for one day.  I know some discharge is normal and it's not like I'm leaking non-stop (like leaking amniotic fluid).  The dr said maybe with the heat and all, that makes things worse.  But she swabbed me for yeast, BV, gardnerella (in addition to Group B Strep) etc and it all came back negative.  She said she didn't notice anything funky when she did my examination, but then again, she said, "I smell this all day long."  LOL!  OMG, I thought I was going to die.  Anyhow, I just feel nasty.

Otherwise, all is well.  Slowly chipping away at the nursery and coming across old cassette tapes (including one of me playing piano from 1985!!), laptops the size of phone books, etc.  Trying to deal with crap that we have put off dealing with for at least a decade.  It feels good, but it's slow-going.  Again, SO thankful to have the time to deal with this.  Speaking of, it's time I stopped procrastinating and got to work!

~34 weeks

Well, DH's job situation is, indeed, as we feared.  He has since applied for a few positions (though not even close to his previous salary), but we do have enough buffer to cover us for me to work PT after baby.  We'll see how it goes.  It's still painful, but the sting has subsided.  Potentially, he may work PT for his old boss too, depending on whether things kick in with a new client.

Regarding my pregnancy, it's simultaneously hard to believe that it's already almost 34 weeks and yet, I can't believe that there are still (if all is on schedule) 6 weeks to go.  Physically, I am pretty uncomfortable.

In trying to sleep on my side, I put my arm under the pillow and then I wake up in the middle of the night with the entire limb completely numb.  Yikes!  It also happens with my entire leg after sitting in certain positions.  It's also tough to get comfortable when sitting.  I breathe hard just sitting in place!  : )  It's very weird to feel so awkward and unwieldy when there's still a good chunk of time left.  I'm very thankful to not be working right now.

I'm also constantly hungry, even right after dinner.  My weight gain is probably at 30ish lbs (but I was +10 over my normal weight to start with with all the back and forth with IUIs, IVF, etc).  I gained 3 lbs in the last 2 week stretch between dr's appointments, which is a bit fast/steep.  I try to stick to healthy things like fruit, peanut butter on whole wheat bread, etc., but do have sweets once in a while.

As far as movement goes, it still seems not super-consistent, but the nocturnal schedule is constant.  Some nights, he moves a lot, some, not so much.  I'm thankful to be borrowing my friend's doppler for occasional check-ins.  Occasionally, it feels like my guts are being stirred around.  Or someone is punching my cervix.  When I'm getting into odd positions, like squatting to reach something, I sort of feel like he's going to drop right out, due to the pressure I feel.

And right now, my fingers are like tight sausages typing...  I think mother nature has all this in place so women aren't wanting to be pregnant forever... (as some women enjoy their pregnancies so much).

Though I'm excited to have the baby, I'm also glad to have some time still to prep... we have been working hard (and now that DH is not working, he is around to help more, silver lining, I suppose) on getting DH's new office set-up and getting going on the nursery.  I'll post before and after pics when we're done.

Okay, gonna watch a bit more junk TV and then hopefully, will get a good night's sleep (the multiple wakings per night to pee has started!!!).

Feeling Sick

No, not in the health/medical sense.  Today, we were blindsided and stunned to find out that DH will most likely lose his job.  His boss is pretty crazy and extreme and is very doomsday in general.  Admittedly, he made some minor mistakes, but as a whole, the health of the company is good and they are headed for success.  But being chicken little, she sees things as negative and disastrous.  This is especially tough (aside from baby being due in 8 weeks) because prior to this year of employment, DH was unemployed for a year.  And at his age and stage in his career + the shitty economy, it's not so easy to find a job. 

I'm trying to stay strong for him and I do believe in my heart, that things will work out one way or another.  But, I had to have an outlet for this... it's still really a huge bummer.  And right now, I'm also adjusting my mindset to go back to work full-time after maternity leave.  The original plan was to go back 0.6 time. 

Sigh.  I'm trying to be thankful and grateful for what we have like our health, each other, etc.  Plus, there is a horrible forest fire in Colorado (about 40 miles away) where people are losing their homes or they have no idea what their fate will be. 

So, things could be worse, but my heart/mind remain heavy.  Here's hoping things turn around...

Housecleaning: Ditching the Drugs

IVF Drugs for Sale!

I've been gun-shy about doing this earlier because I didn't want to "curse" myself.  At this point, however, I am starting to get into nesting mode and just want to get my old piles and crap cleaned up.  And if the sh** should hit the fan with this pregnancy, I have other things to worry about besides whether or not I still have drugs to use for another cycle.  Sorry if you think this is uncouth, but I had to pay for everything in my cycle out of pocket, so would love to recoup anything possible.

[Shipping costs included for all.]

Vivelle Dots - 3 unopened boxes of Vivelle 0.1 mg "dots."  Each box has 8 dots/patches.  I have an additional box with 5 patches out of 8 left (unopened).  Expiration Date: 07/2013.  I paid about $65 per box.  I will charge you $40/box and throw in the extra 5/8 box for free. 

Menopur - 3 vials of 75 IU single-dose Menopur.  Includes 5 vials of sodium chloride diluent.  I paid $210, will sell for $100.  Includes Q-caps and needles.

Endometrin - progesterone vaginal insert, 100 mg.  17 unopened inserts.  I paid $115 for 21.  Will charge $50.  Includes unopened applicators.  Expires October 2012.

Follistim - AQ Cartridge 900 IU.  Unused/unopened and stored in the fridge from the get-go.  I paid $782 for one of these puppies.  Pen included, if you need and microneedles.  Will sell for $300 and ship overnight on ice.

Almost 31...

Ha, wish that title described my age too!  Went to the ob/gyn yesterday -- except for waiting almost an hour to see her (par for the course), all was good/smooth.  Heartbeat was good, strong and LOUD (even on the lowest volume on the doppler).  I felt a lot of movement last night, stronger than ever, which was cool.  But I'm all paranoid because I accidentally ended up on my back for most of the night's sleep... still waiting for baby boy to announce his presence today.  My doctor is so wacko -- she told me that the Strep B culture was going to be done at the next appointment (in 2 weeks, they take a swab of your "other hole"...).  I said, "Won't that be unpleasant with the hemorrhoids?"  Because I'm definitely experiencing them to the max... She said very cheerfully, "It might be for you, but it won't for me!"  Hilarious.

I've been working up a storm at school to prep things for my maternity leave.  I am about 95% done... unfortunately, my sub seems to be a bit high maintenance and I worry that she won't leave me alone.  So many questions, wants to do so much in advance.  Sometimes you just gotta cross that bridge when you get to it.  At least she's competent, though...

Next on tap, is my exams for Board Certification, which I gotta study for.  Gag.  How do you study for something when you have no idea what they're going to ask you?  (It's 6 essay questions and you only know the topic in a very general sense, it could be anything though).

THEN, it'll be nursery, full-on nesting time!  I cannot believe that I'm on the home stretch and what surrealness awaits.  It was another time/world when DS (now 6) was an infant.  I hope what they say is true, that #2 is easier.

For now, we've got a family weekend getaway (just driving a few hours away) that I've got to pack for -- will be good to have quality fam time and no chores to do. 

Have a good weekend, all!