August 4, 6:03 pm
My baby boy is here! You never think you could love another child as much as you love your first, but somehow there is enough love to go around. It's only been one day and yet, it feels like I've been loving D for a long time.
Of course, my water broke after a long day (with no nap) + late dinner party at a family member's house. I was exhausted and half asleep on the couch when I felt a sharpe twinge and contraction at midnight. Then I went pee and it just never stopped gushing. I recognized this sensation and started immediately gathering my things (my bag was already 95% packed). My dr was on call and affirmed that I should come in right away. Woke up the hubs and then sat in the car waiting while it felt like he took his sweet time (10 minutes felt like an eternity).
I honestly thought that I would be eating breakfast the next morning having had a baby. However, from midnight to 6:30 am, I dilated 2 cm from 3 cm. At some point in there, I got an epidural as the low back pain was pretty intense. Then from 6:30 am - 8:30 am, I dilated 3 cm to 8 cm. Then, after a whole lot of nothing, I started getting Pitocin to kick things into gear. Lunchtime passed and I still was only at 9 cm for a long, long time. Then, it was mid-to-late afternoon and finally at 10 cm. I pushed and pushed and nothing was happening. I was bummed because I felt like it was my fault bec my doctor kept telling me I was pushing in the wrong areas. Instead of, "You can do it!" which my nurse kept saying, my doctor kept criticizing my technique. I wasn't pushing in a sustained way. I was pushing into the wrong areas, etc. SO, the next step was more Pitocin and turning off the epidural. This ended up being the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Baby was sunny-side up, so my low back was burning. I was screaming and yelling like they do on TV, it was MISERY. The reason things had gone on as long as they did (15 hours up to this point) was that I was determined to not have a c-section, which my dr supported. After about two hours of pushing, I was done, "Get the baby out of me." Between that decision and the actual c-section, I feel like 30 min passed. It was amazing. At one point, for a split second when my eyes were actually open, I saw like 9 people in the room. I screamed and wailed as my bed was wheeled into the operating room, before the pain meds kicked in. Then it was heaven -- the tugging and pulling of the C-section was super creepy and not totally pleasant, but nothing compared to the pain that I had been going through previously. Then the baby was out and DH and I just started crying. It was such a relief, in more ways than one.
It's been 26 hours since I've given birth and I am now a free woman with the catheter out, the IV hand needle dealie-bob out, oxygen tube gone, no more vitals being checked all the time, eating real food, being able to move, etc. I am about to take my first shower since Friday. I am also able to walk around now... woot!
OMG, I realize I left out a KEY piece of info that explains the c-section as well... D was 8 lbs 11.4 oz!! And I am 5' 1", originally 113 lbs. So that was a big (ha, ha) issue.
So being that D is so big, we are having to supplement with formula every 2 hours. His blood sugar was measuring low, so he has had to have his heel pricked every 2-3 hours since yesterday. : ( It's now on the up and up and he just has to pass one more test, otherwise, we would have to admit him to the NICU. : ( I have to pump every 3 hours, even though I am basically pumping dust.
I don't understand why, evolutionarily speaking, women don't get their milk in for so long...
Anyway, I'm hoping that my milk will come in w/o any problems (I had no probs w/ DS#1, but with c-sections, I've heard scary stories) -- I really value breastfeeding and really want to be able to do it with #2!
I'm really tired and unfocused, so hope this all makes sense!
Will post again when my mind is more clear!
Basically, I adore my baby and am SO thankful for him (and CCRM's help in getting him here)!