Monday, April 16, 2012



I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit of survivor's guilt (though I'll consider myself a full-fledged survivor when I have a take-home baby) and that that has impacted my posting on this blog.  I feel so bad when I read about the continuing trials and tribulations of so many women.  I try to be supportive and comment on others' blogs and hope that that is still a positive thing for those working so hard to conceive.

I don't want to drop off the face of the earth either, so here's the latest:

I feel like I'm monstrous and being 5 feet tall, I think there's less room for everything to spread out.  I just had a dr's appointment today and in one month since my last appt, I've gained 10 lbs.  Oopsie.  I'm hungry ALL the time and generally, I reach for stuff like fruit, cereal, yogurt and only have junk occasionally.  Not too different from my pre-pregnancy diet, except for the frequency and I definitely have at least another meal (like a bowl of cereal) after dinner/before bed. 

I definitely still have paranoia about the regularity of movement, but so far, so good.  Some days it seems quite substantial and other days, little to none.  My dr. reminds me that it's still fairly early on  and that the big movement is yet to come.  Today, I got to have another u/s, but still couldn't see the lip (for cleft palate) but no biggee.  Won't change anything.  Baby's fists were covering his face, so no head shot or profile shot.  The only u/s pics I have today are foot, foot, penis.  Ah well. 

I've been having some fun (now that my National Boards are done) sewing little projects here and there, gifts for others and some for baby.  Sometime, I'll post some of my handiwork perhaps.  It's nice to have more free time to do stuff I want to do/enjoy.

I had a great Spring Break trip to Vegas w/ the family, particularly since I was able to spend a lot of quality time w/ DS.  Just that time investment and attention to him (w/o distractions of work, home chores, etc) made us so much closer in such a short time.  He kept saying, "We're buddies" and snuzzling my arm and stuff when we'd hold hands.  Sigh...   Wonder how different B2 will be?

The other fun thing is that my coworker is going to throw me a shower next month.  I felt a little guilty w/ this being a second child and another boy, but she said that enough time has passed and that I should enjoy it.  She even encouraged me to register for stuff.  We have most of the big things, but we had already chucked some of the second hand stuff I got the first time around, so need a few things.  Plus w/ DS, it was pre-BPA awareness days, so want to update that stuff.  Craig's List has been amazing and I've gotten some big-ticket ideas barely used or brand-new.

Sleep is hit and miss -- definitely have insane, vivid, crazy dreams.  Some quite upsetting, so it's a relief when I wake up and realize it was not real. 

My limbs are definitely puffy and swollen from water retention and/or blood pooling.  I'm wearing DH's triathlon compression socks right now and they are amazing.  I also have orthopedic ones from DS's pregnancy too that I gotta whip out.  My calves are definitely suffering the consequences with spider veins and varicose veins.  That, along with saggy, shrunken boobs and a poochy stomach are definitely the badges of "honor" of motherhood. 

Otherwise, I'm fairly comfortable and am curious what the next 3 mos will bring.  Wishing everyone the best!